Building community: How to be a villager
Serena Kanji-Ramji, Contributor
Gen Z has been dubbed the loneliest generation. This truth is rooted in the recent rise of individualism, which has led to a noticeable disintegration of cultivated communities.
According to an article by the Association for Psychological Science, individualism—the idea that a person’s right to freedom and individual expression outweighs responsibility to the collective or group—has risen by 12 per cent since 1960.
According to Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, our society is more keen on this separation than ever. As explained in his latest book, there is more “separation rather than connection, independence rather than interdependence, individuality rather than a shared identity.”
Much of the groundwork for the individualist mindsets we see today has been laid by social media. The platforms people use every day push the idea that if they love themselves enough, then they don’t need anyone else. They can make all the connections they need if they just dig deep enough—some go as far as seeing a connection with others as a genuine weakness.
Like influencer Lis Talks Vibes, who, in an Instagram video that has garnered thousands of likes, said they believe it’s weird to have friends from high school, citing those relationships as holding people back.
They went on to say that they believe people who have no friends at all are the strongest because they are “protecting their energy.”
While those between the ages of 13 and 29 might watch this content and feel doomed to forever revel in their loneliness, much of the research on socialisation disagrees, and recent social media trends suggest that finding community is possible.
‘Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager’: TikTok users
One study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concludes that social support is an essential factor in student success, as it can help buffer some of the stress they face. Essentially, community is what keeps people grounded, especially students.
In a viral TikTok, Rachel Lovely explains that building a community is actually much simpler than some make it out to be, and that it can be done in three steps.
The first, most important, and arguably hardest step is admitting and accepting that we need people. Lovely says that everyone wants to be part of a community, but being part of one takes work that no one wants to do.
“This ‘I can figure it all out by myself, I don’t need help from anyone’ is so detrimental to creating community,” says Lovely.
The second step, she says, is being more vulnerable with the people around us. An example suggested by Lovely was always going to the airport to pick people up, but never asking for people to pick you up when you need it. She explained that villages aren’t a one-way street: they are meant to be reciprocal.
Finally, Lovely said that you must be willing to go outside and engage. She says that with social media, connection is at our fingertips. Lovely says that building a community can’t happen in the isolation of our own homes—instead, recommending networking events, club meetings, and friends’ nights out.
Building community at MRU
Now that you have all the steps to cultivate community, let’s take a look at some things you can do close to home or on campus.
It’s no secret that students want to create relationships on campus now more than ever. In fact, the Instagram account @mruchatter—an anonymous confession page not affiliated with the university but widely used by students—is littered with posts asking where to find friends.
One low-risk starting point is to greet the people sitting next to you in class and ask them what their major is or where they’re from. Another way to put yourself out there is to attend on-campus events. MRU has a wide range of activities every week, including Trivia Tuesday at Westgate Social or crafting at the peer support centre on Thoughtful Thursdays.
Aside from Wyckham House, the Riddell Library offers monthly events, like its speaker series, where you can meet like-minded peers. More obviously, its speed-friending event will take place later this month, on Feb. 23, from 5 to 7 p.m.
Finally, the most effective way to cultivate community on campus is by joining a club. Whatever your interest, MRU probably has a club for it, and attending these meetings or even becoming an executive for one gives you an opportunity to meet people who are compatible with you.
Building a community doesn’t happen overnight—it takes effort and sacrifice. But when all is said and done, the cost of inconvenience in the name of connection will never outweigh the cost of being alone.
