How do students navigate sports grief? | 

Bella Coco, News Editor | 

Whether it’s running under bright court lights, or pursuing a goal on the green grass of a pitch, countless young athletes chase dreams of going pro. But for many, a single moment—a torn ligament, a fractured bone, or a head injury—can turn ambition into shaky uncertainty. Sports injuries are not just physical setbacks, but also mental barriers that can bench a career before it even begins.

For aspiring post-secondary athletes, the long journey of going pro is often chalked full of sacrifices: countless hours of training and practices, missed social opportunities, and the mental toll of balancing academics and sports. However, for athletes pursuing their passion, the balance is more than worth the time and effort. Unfortunately, not even the most balanced and disciplined athlete can cheat the risks of injury. One wrong move, tackle, pivot, or stance can result in months of rehabilitation, lost opportunities and grief. According to the Journal of Orthopaedics and Traumatology, 30 per cent of young athletes who undergo serious injuries, such as ACL tears, fail to return to their pre-injury performance levels.

Bodily betrayal

Alexandria Pickard, a student at Ambrose University, unfortunately, knows all too well the trauma of an ACL tear—an injury that stole her spot on the basketball court.

“It was during a practice. We were scrimmaging, and I got caught between a girl’s legs,” Pickard says. “We both jumped in the air, and I pivoted. I heard a loud pop, and I fell to the ground. And in that moment, I knew something bad was gonna happen, because I couldn’t straighten my leg.”

Testimonies like Pickard’s are usually a clear sign of a fractured ACL. Unable to stand on her leg, Pickard nearly fainted when trying to get up; she later learned that her ACL was fully torn and that her meniscus and MCL were partially torn, necessitating a full reconstruction of her knee. The physical pain of the injury also brought a whirlwind of emotions for Pickard, including the loss of what once was her everything.

“[Basketball] was basically my identity. I grew up playing sports my whole life and in high school. And then in my third year, I played in university. Sports were definitely what made me who I was,” she says.

For young athletes reeling from an injury, grief may be one of the most common and significant emotional responses. With a sense of purpose now severed from athletic involvement, it’s common for student-athletes to grieve what could’ve been.

“I had to reevaluate my whole life because I couldn’t just play basketball for the rest of my life now. There were a few days where I just didn’t get out of bed or wanted to even take part in the practices or games anymore,” Pickard says. “I was like, ‘There’s no point to me even being here since I’m never going to play again.’ So there definitely was a lot of anger in my grief process, then more sadness, I guess. I thought, ‘I did this to myself.’”

However, for Pickard, after the storm, the sun began to slowly shine again. Pickard was supported by her team, coaches and family members during the recovery process, which eventually led to her finding comfort with basketball and playing other sports again.

“My coach knew at the time the extent of my injury and he knew from the beginning that I probably wasn’t going to go back to playing because of how intense the injury was. He was just more supportive than anything,” Pickard says. “One of my other coaches, she was also there for me. And she tore her whole knee apart when she played basketball back in the day. So she just empathized with me. She made me feel very heard and very like, ‘I’m okay to not be okay.’”

With the support Pickard received, she was able to embrace basketball within the limitations of her injury.

“I live by a basketball court. So I’ll go out and shoot hoops with my fiancé or I’ll just stay active. So it’s not like, ‘oh, I hate basketball forever.’ There’s just a lot of trauma involved with that… It’s just one hardship that makes you look at how beautiful the rest of your life is,” she says. “I definitely found that this injury made me realize that there’s more beauty to this life than just being a jock.”

Persistence and determination

Like Pickard’s experience with a traumatic sports injury, UBC Okanagan student Olivia Vanderwater also had her life turned upside down when she tore her ACL.

Vanderwater first tore her ACL when playing soccer at 14 years old, which changed her perspective on sports and recovery very early on.

“It was one of the most difficult things to hear at such a young age. It was the first time I experienced what depression was. But I knew how much soccer and my team meant to me so I made it my mission to come back from the injury stronger than I had been before,” Vanderwater says.

However, disaster struck before Vanderwater’s departure to university. She tore her knee a second time, which re-opened the wound of grief on a much larger scale.

“I had already been through this before but during this time I didn’t really have a strong relationship with my team,” Vanderwater says. “I was not signed to my university’s team at the time and I did not have a plan for the next year.”

The injury was no longer just physically impactful; for Vanderwater, the blow was mentally devastating.

“I got depressed again and to be honest, I did not cope with it in the best ways,” Vanderwater says. “I partied a lot with friends, and I was drinking and using recreational drugs.”

However, she did not stay down for long, picking herself back up and using her love of the game to propel herself forward.

“I managed to turn things around and set goals for myself to help keep me motivated,” Vanderwater says. “I was not allowed to play soccer but I was allowed to workout and take care of my body, so that is what I did.”

Vanderwater found resilience in recovery, and after seeing a sports psychologist, attending physiotherapy, receiving family love and undergoing surgery, she was able to get back on the soccer pitch and play for the University of British Columbia Okanagan Heat.

“University soccer is not what I expected. It has been extremely difficult to gain my confidence back, especially after two ACL surgeries,” she says. “I am not the same player that I was prior to both of them, and that has been the most difficult thing to wrap my head around. I still show up everyday and try to be the best version of myself and am still working so hard to get to where I know I can be.”

Despite the hardships of her two injuries and the journey to regain her confidence, Vanderwater continuously finds ways to stay involved and become the player she always envisioned.

“The program I am taking at UBCO is Health and Exercise Sciences. My goal is to become a physiotherapist and have a specialty in ACL prevention and rehabilitation.”

“I want to make sure no one has to go through this level of difficulty in their life.”

Almost all athletes have dreams of playing at the highest level of their sport, but only few reach the pinnacle of their respective disciplines. Sports bring stories of achievement, but also injury, heartbreak, and struggle. However, the stories of redemption, reinvigoration and revitalization from those who come back from supposedly career-ending injuries cannot be understated in their impact, providing motivation and inspiration to all.

Bella Coco is the News Editor for The Reflector 2024-2025. She aims to inform the public of current events and hold officials and organizations accountable in the media. Bella’s interests include her work as a writer (fiction or nonfiction), cinema, and music of all kinds.