Sex Column: Get wet and wild with lube

As a gay man, lube is pretty much essential to my sex life. It’s handed out at pride festivals like candy and every how-to on gay sex emphasizes the need for the slick stuff.

However, to my vaginally-inclined readers, lube can often be an overlooked accessory for your sex life (unless you are prone to dryness). It’s certainly something to keep in your goodie drawer to add some extra zip to your sessions.

The topic of lube is ironically a dry one, so bear with me as I guide you through this wet and wild subject.

For starters, lube can prolong a good romp, increase sensation and take you and your partner into new realms of pleasure and sensitivity.

Gay or straight, lube is an absolute requirement for anal.

Water-based lube is generally good for all types of fucking and works with all forms of protection. It’s easy to clean off and doesn’t stain, so no one will know you fucked on the couches by recreation. Water-based is also the best to use with the dildos and vibrators I know you all readily use.

Oil-based lube can double as massage oil (very good foreplay, I mean, butt massages!) and is great for giving hand jobs. But be forewarned: latex condoms will easily erode with oil-based lube and it can be quite messy to clean up because it’s so thick. Who would have thought – for once, thickness isn’t a good thing. Baby oil falls into this category.

Silicone lube is the queen bee of the lubes, lasting the longest, and it’s waterproof – so shower fuckers rejoice! The downside is that silicone lube and silicone toys don’t mix. The lube will actually turn silicone toys into gummy mess and no one wants that happening inside of them.

Don’t have a friend to share the fun with? Worry not; a good personal lubricant is perfect for making a stroke session much more interesting. Adding a bit of lube just gives so many more options. You can stroke at different speeds, use one or both hands or even tickle your back door (if you’re so inclined.)

It’s good to keep in mind that when it comes to lube, there is such a thing as too much. About a dime-sized dollop is enough for both partners to get primed for fucking. Anal requires plenty more as the anus is not graced with the self-lubricating function of the vagina.

The type of lube you end up sticking with is ultimately a personal preference. Some lubes will feel right and others won’t. Barbara Walters likes Astroglide, I like KY.

It takes a little trial and error and the key is to listen to your body. If there is any irritation or if it burns like a motherfucker, move onto the next one. There are plenty of options, like warm or tingling sensations, long-lasting, his and hers, flavored and even clitoris-arousing. The list goes on and on!

Clearly you’ll need to have a lot of sex to test each one out, which I fully support!

Now you might wonder if a lube substitute can work, like baby oil, or even food items like olive oil and Crisco. Long story short: while it might save your wallet, using anything other than actual lube can leave you with infections and won’t often mix well with condoms, so it’s best to stick to what’s on the shelf in the pharmacy.

You also might think that using a moisturizer or other lotions is another way around it, but let me tell you a little story. As a horny teenager back in high school, I was too embarrassed to go to the drug store and grab a bottle of lube for some solo play. Thinking it was harmless, I used some lemon-scented Vicks VapoRub to polish my rocket. While it worked great as a lubricant and my dick was citrus fresh, the burn for a few hours after was not worth it at all!

So please, I beg of you: stick to the real stuff!