Jaunty Jezebel: When good words go bad
Does the word “balls” make you giggle? How about “jugs?” No? Okay, you’re lying. Who cares if it’s immature or silly, there are some words in the English dictionary that can’t help but make you smile, laugh or think dirty thoughts. They are completely innocuous on the printed page but heard coming from one’s mouth whether the conversation is inappropriate or not, they evoke a reaction. Here in The Reflector office we brainstormed hard to come up with a list of dirty words.
Wet
Covered or saturated with water or another liquid. Well, for me, what comes to mind when I hear the word “wet,” it’s not water. Any time a girl says they’re wet, you’re probably not going to think they’re saturated in water. My status update on Facebook once read, “Selina is wet.” It was raining and though everyone else was outside that day, they weren’t suggesting getting an umbrella. “Sticky” also works with wet, but it’s slightly gross. If you’re sticky because you’re covered in semen you kind of just want to shower and be the other kind of wet.
Snatch
Quickly seize (something) in a rude or eager manner. How “snatch” became a word meaning female genitalia is unknown, but the day that Outlaws nightclub became Snatch, the snickers just did not stop. Doesn’t help that the bar has two barred cages, allowing many snatches to be on display (and it’s questionable if some of them are of legal age or not). It would almost be smart for the bar to be a lesbian bar but I think anyone running a lesbian bar would be a little bit classier than that. Snatch is also a fun word to say. Just try it.
Anteater
A mammal that feeds on ants and termites. It has a long snout and a sticky tongue. I’ll admit that I had to ask my colleague why she had suggested this word. An anteater’s snout apparently resembles an uncircumcized penis. I took a moment to think about this, visualize it if you will, and I have to say that this is correct. Thankfully I neither come in contact with anteaters or uncircumcized penises very often.
Balls
A solid or hollow sphere or ovoid, especially one that is kicked, thrown or hit in a game. I can’t say the plural word of “ball” without thinking of testicles. I order chicken balls at Chinese restaurants and then chuckle. There is actually several meanings and uses for the word, it is commonly known slang in North America but has a different meaning in Britain.
Fish taco
Fish: A limbless cold-blood vertebrae animal with gills and fins and living wholly in water. Taco: A Mexican dish consisting of a fried tortilla, typically folded, filled with various mixtures, such as seasoned meats, beans, lettuce and tomatoes.
Now who doesn’t like a fish taco? Well I guess if you don’t like fish, or tacos … it’s okay if you shudder, I did too. Taco is okay, but without the fish or the smell of fish. Fish just shouldn’t be associated with this at all.
Come/cum
Come: Move or travel toward or into a place of thought of as near or familiar to the speaker. Cum: preposition (usually in combination) combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function) i.e.: a study-cum-bedroom. I found the example for “cum” quite funny, but that might just be me. An innocuous sentence using the word “come” is now usually followed with “that’s what she said.” Example; “Are you coming?” “That’s what she said.”
Penetrate
Succeed in forcing a way into or through (something). I hear this word used a lot in TV shows and movies military related and it makes sense since penetration is very much something only men can do. I suppose girls can as well, if they are using fingers, but you don’t really have the need for the same kind of force.
Rug burn
A definition really isn’t needed here. There is really only one way to get rug burn and it’s not from wrestling. It’s also painful and usually experienced by whoever is on the bottom.
Honourable mention
There are numerous other words we came up with: box, sausage, jugs, cherry, clap, cock, facial, sucking, fist, shocker, head, hung, load, and poke. When your mind is in the gutter, pretty much anything can be dirty.
