Sex Column: Yay porn!
…unless it gives you erectile dysfunction
Lynn Dawn
Sex Columnist
I’ve been trying to write about the topic of porn since I started writing this column in September of 2012. But every time I sit down to do it, the subject just seems too big and too complicated.
And my opinion on porn seems to change every day. I’ll read an article about the negative effects of porn or what some of the actors have been through and I’ll feel nauseated and swear it off… and then later I’ll find myself rubbing one out to a video that showed up on my Tumblr dashboard and think, “Eh, this isn’t so bad.”
I’ve decided to split this into two articles, though I could probably write for the rest of the semester on different aspects of porn: one on how watching porn can affect you and another on some of my own ethical qualms with porn.
Before we get into it, let’s talk about all the rad things about porn first. This is pretty easy. You get to watch people have sex. Any kind of sex you can imagine. You could watch a different video every day for the rest of your life and you would never run out of videos to watch. You don’t even need to watch a whole video though. You can watch a compilation or click between 15 videos before you get off. You can watch fantasies that you might never be able (or want to) experience in real life. And you can get it all for the cost of an internet connection.
It can also be fun to watch as a couple to get you both excited, and maybe even give you some ideas to try out yourselves.
As porn expands and becomes more readily available it is also becoming easier to find porn not aimed at straight males. I think this is positive. If you are queer you can find porn that’s actually meant for queer people and not for straight guys who get off to girls eating each other out. Side note: I recommend the Crash Pad Series if you are looking for this.
But what is harmful about porn is also what is so great about it. So much choice, so many videos. It becomes too stimulating. Humans have never before had porn so readily available and this creates a risk of becoming addicted to porn and finding it preferable to having sex with a real life person. It can also cause a viewer to have a distorted view of reality and what real life sex is actually like.
I will go into the latter more in my next article, but for now just remember: porn is fantasy. The participants in porn are actors. Don’t treat your partner like a porn-star. Treat them like a person that you are getting intimate with who has preferences and desires that will probably not align with what you see in porn.
An article in Psychology Today said that a growing number of young men are complaining of “delayed ejaculation, inability to be turned on by real partners, and sluggish erections.”
Most of these guys relate the problem to a heavy porn/masturbation habit. Although this has been reported mostly by men, women have also experienced this. They can no longer get off with their partner and would rather masturbate to porn.
Basically what happens is with so much porn available, the same old stuff stops being exciting and viewers start seeking out more extreme porn, and then more extreme porn than that and it escalates.
I’ve had friends joke about orgasming and becoming aware of what they’re watching and being disgusted by it. In my Internet scrounging, I also read about straight males who find themselves becoming attracted to gay or transsexual porn even though they are straight. Their brain craves new and more extreme visuals to get that dopamine.
This can be scary stuff, but what does it mean? Stop watching porn? If you think you might have a porn addiction or find you’re becoming less interested in having sex then abstaining from porn might be necessary. If you are experiencing erectile dysfunction, abstaining from watching porn for 6 – 12 weeks can help bring back your boner, or for women, help bring back sensitivity and make sex satisfying again.
For those who enjoy porn but have not experienced these extremely negative consequences, just remember to enjoy things in moderation. Don’t let yourself become dependent on porn. Masturbate without watching it sometimes, and remember that real life sex is better than fapping to a screen.