Dress your best this Halloween: To wear or not to wear? That is the question
By Colin Macgillivray, Arts Editor
To be, or not to be, that is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous costumes, or to take arms against a sea of ghouls and by opposing end them.
We’ve all been there. Halloween is quickly approaching and you still have no idea what to dress up as. You don’t want to spend too much, but you obviously want to impress those spooky ghosts and ghouls at the next Halloween party. You consider just reusing the costume you used last year, maybe seeing if your friends want to swap, but in the end, you know deep down that if you don’t have the best costume on Halloween on your Instagram feed, your followers are going to be pissed.
Worry not, I’m here to help. Here are the best do’s and don’ts when it comes to Halloween this year. As a little trick and treat for you, some of these suggestions are definitely jokes, but I’m not going to tell you which ones.
Do: Dress up as a Minion!
There is nothing more on-trend, in style and hip than dressing up as a large, yellow creature who insists on serving history’s most despicable masters! Grab your favourite pair of overalls, a banana, some goggles and boom, your dream costume is ready. Feeling a little bit flirty? Ditch the goggles. Maybe you’re trying to impress that special someone? Bring them their very own banana. It’s a fool proof costume that will leave your friends confused and your parents embarrassed. What’s better than that?
Don’t: Dress up as a sexy alien
First off, there is nothing sexy about aliens, except maybe E.T. Nonetheless, this can apply to anything that is traditionally scary, grotesque or haunting. Nothing makes me more upset than seeing a sexy fireman at a party — not prepared for a fire — or seeing my girlfriend dance in a sexy werewolf costume just to toy with my feelings. If something is scary, don’t make it sexy!
Do: Make a Fortnite costume
This is for all those sad saps who are going to be stuck at home, handing out candy on Halloween. If there is one thing I know, it is that kids absolutely love Fortnite, so what’s better than dressing up like a Fortnite character! Not only will they be blown away by your sweet Fortnite dance moves, they’ll completely forget about why they came to your house in the first place, turn around and go home to play Fortnite. Now you can enjoy all that sweet candy yourself.
Don’t: Dress as a pumpkin!
This is both for kids and adults alike. If you’re a parent and you’re desperately searching for an easy costume, pumpkin might seem like the way to go. Get your kid an orange shirt and send them down the street to collect sweet delights. Unfortunately for you, your child isn’t going to be coming back with any treats. Dressing your child as a pumpkin will only confuse everyone handing out candy. And due to all the pumpkins on the street, they might not even notice them there.
Now, if you’re an adult, dressing as a pumpkin is just stupid.
Do: Go as Pam and Jim from The Office
Looking for that original, unique couple costume for you and your sweetheart, but your sick and tired of going as figure-skating legends Christoper Dean and Jayne Torvill or dance-duo Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev? Look no further than Pam and Jim from The Office. Not only will you stop running into all the other couples who are dress as Fonteyn and Nureyev at your work’s Halloween party, but the costume is so niche, that you’ll feel on top of the world when someone gets the reference.
Don’t: Go as Dwight and Angela from The Office
That would be disgusting. Don’t be a freak.
Do: Go as Elon Musk
If you want that perfect costume that will leave everyone talking, dress up as the CEO of Tesla. You’ll have brains, sex appeal, wealth. Everything you might be desperately missing in your own life. Combine a black shirt that is a little too small, jeans that are a bit too big and $2000 dress shoes and you’ve got the perfect costume.
Don’t: Go as a Subway sandwich artist
Frankly if I see anyone out there impersonating a Subway employee, I’ll be furious. Day-in and day-out, they work tirelessly, adhering to every topping, every vegetable and every sauce that your heart desires. Plus, they have to put together some of the most disgusting customer orders I’ve ever seen — tuna with guacamole on flatbread — with a smile on their face. Not once do they expect us to ask what we can get for them, so the least you can do is let them wear their uniform with pride.
There you have it! Although I have compiled the perfect list, honestly just go as whatever you want, as long as it isn’t insensitive. Skip those ‘Dream Catcher’ and ‘Sombrero Sweetie’ costumes and go for something a little more tasteful, like a Minion perhaps.
