Blog: Online Dating
There’s plenty of fish online: What females can expect with online dating and what males should try to avoid
Hannah Cawsey, Photo Editor
Editors note: This is an ongoing series looking into the intricacies of the online dating world. If you would like to share your stories, or horror stories, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
When you’re in your twenties, there can be new pressures being placed on top of your shoulders by many peers and family members. This pressure is simply a common asked question and is brought up in day to day conversation: what is your relationship status and what are your plans on marriage?
With social media at a all time high, everyone knows everything about you — including who you are dating; if you’re engaged; married; or currently without. Popularity of these sites has also launched a new trend: Online dating.
A handful of my friends have created Plenty Of Fish accounts in order to find dates due to lack of interest in their social groups and the inability to pay for other match making websites. I’ve been single for a while now and I decided to give it a try. I’ve heard many mixed reviews about online dating, some horror stories and some fairy tale ones so I was a little bit skeptical when I created my account.
After I finished all of the personality and emotional chemistry tests, uploaded some photos of myself and completed the interest tags on my profile, I checked my inbox. I wasn’t expecting 20 new messages with my account being five minutes old and it was a bit overwhelming, but after getting used to POF I can safely say I have encountered some very nice individuals and some that shouldn’t be allowed online.
As someone who works with the public for both my journalism education and as a server part time — I am experienced with how the general public act. However, with online dating everything is different, people can only judge you on a few sentences about yourself and a photo, they have to message you to find out more. This concept essentially advertising yourself is still something I have trouble dealing with.
People judge you one the few words you have to say about yourself and that’s only if they take time to read your profile. I find most of the time men will look at your photos and decided if they will talk to you or not, very few actually read what a girl has to say before proceeding.
Because of this quick to judge issue I have come up with a few examples of what not to do on a online dating site for men, and women, so you don’t look like a fool or get ignored on your potentially significant other’s message board.
1) As mentioned, read their profile.
There is a reason why websites ask for interests and get you to write up about yourself. I summarized what I like to do, such as what books I read, movies I like and a small paragraph on who I am. Every POF account has a section for this and the website even asks you to fill out this section when you create your account so your matches will actually match you. Fill it out and read other’s. If a guy messages me and uses my user name, asks what I do in school or what my hobbies are, I know he hasn’t read anything and just looked at my photos. Yes some ice breakers might include what I’ve written, but a girl can tell when a guy just looks at your photo and nothing else.
2) Don’t ask why a person has a POF account. Just don’t.
I will not respond to any message when a guy says “What brings you to this site? I can’t see you having a problem finding a date.” Clearly I do otherwise I wouldn’t be on a online dating site. If you really want to, work that into a conversation, but don’t just message someone with just that.
3) When starting a conversation, don’t begin with:
“I want to get on top of you, how can I do that?”
“You showed up on my matches, clearly you’ve won the jackpot since I decided to message you.”
– Send a long winded message about how no girls ever talk to you and you’ll never have a chance at love.
– Keep messaging someone when they clearly don’t want to talk to you.
-Do not declare your undying love for someone you’ve never talked to.
Some of these might work on some people, as for me I like to get a conversation going before I dish out my number or agree to grab a coffee.
4) “Hey babe 😉 😉 😉 ;)”
5) More than just hello
I will talk to you if you put effort into your message. See number four for an example of no effort. I may sound high maintenance but it’s an online dating website, it will take more than two words and a bunch of emoticons to peak my interest.