Sex column: Go for a spin
Take a ride while taking a ride
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen Titanic and the infamous car sex scene. With Rose’s hand slapped against the window, all steamed up from the sexual performance, I would steadfastly award Leo an Oscar.
There’s something hot about car sex. A need for each other that can’t wait for the bedroom, the possibility of being seen or even caught — it’s a strange feeling of voyeurism that adds a ton of excitement.
Now when I speak of car sex, it doesn’t always have to be penetrative. Oral, hand jobs, fingering, there are plenty of things to do.
The location is paramount, depending on the act. I doubt you’ll be on a White Stare cruise ship, so for a quick blowjob or fingerbang, the back of a parking lot in mid-afternoon is perfect.
For a full-on downstairs party, there are plenty of remote places to park, preferably when it’s dark, to get the windows steamy. I’ll let you discover those on your own. If you’re not ready to venture towards getting down and dirty right out in public, park in a garage for a good way to build confidence.
For vehicle sex to be successful, the car really does have to be clean. So all those bagel wrappers and many “please play again” cups need to go. Nothing says raunchy and sexy like pushing your partner passionately into the back seat and exploding an unused ketchup pack.
You might also want to consider having a blanket or covering at hand to protect the seats. I don’t know about you, but sitting in a car knowing the upholstery is home to dried up sexual fluid — I’d rather walk!
One might think the confined spaces of a vehicle could make sex especially hard. I won’t lie and say it’s not easy, especially for the taller folk (for once, my short stature comes in handy!), but the receiver on top is the usual position and if the size of the vehicle permits, doggy style is always one of my favourites. Other positions you can try are spoon sex and good ol’ missionary if you like being really, really close.
Now, if you happen to own a truck, this is where the possibilities widen. I mean there’s a whole back bed to play in! Just drive out to a very remote location, lay down some blankets and romp in the back until the sun comes up, or even lower the tailgate and bend your partner over to go from behind.
Whoever fantasied about this in our recent sex survey, I have Luke Bryan on the phone and can arrange to have him sing across the field. I guess Ford should rename their F-150 to the Fuck-150.
Now most of the time, I feel minivans are limited to soccer moms, but for car sex it’s essentially God’s gift to the horny in a hurry. Take out the back seat and party away, with even enough room to make it a threesome.
Car sex can work for the kinky as well. Those seatbelts that stop you from flying through the windshield? They are perfect for strapping your partner down. And why not put that owners manual to good use and use it for a little spanking? Someone’s been a bad driver and needs to be punished!
The last tip I give, this is a little far out, even for me (for context I got this one from Cosmo): if you have a sunroof, open it up, and have one partner stand through it, while treated to a good licking (apparently it works particularly well when the receiver is wearing a skirt, so this one’s for you, ladies).
Sounds exciting and voyeuristic, however, I can only imagine how odd that would look, half of someone sticking out from a sunroof with his or her face flushed with pleasure gripping the roof with ecstasy. I’ll leave that one with you to see if it works!
One last thing: I don’t recommend trying road head (oral sex while driving) or really anything sexual while driving. While I’ve never had someone down there while on the road, my limbs do essentially become useless while receiving oral pleasures and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Let’s not make this the new texting and driving!