Editorial: Hallway Disorder
Over the past year as Publishing Editor for The Reflector, I have promoted student causes within this editorial.
The students of Mount Royal University have been excellent examples of empathy, advocacy and human decency that I have attempted to explore within this column.
Unbeknown to all of us, throughout the last year — an ongoing tyranny has been running rampant in Mount Royal’s halls that The Reflector and I have failed to warn you about.
No more will I stand by and let this scourge spread its plague of ignorance amongst the unsuspecting populace.
That scourge, my fellow refugees, is Hallway Disorder.
You may be wondering: “How did I not notice this?” or “What is Hallway Disorder?” or even “Why am I reading this editorial?” Don’t worry my ardent readers — I intend to put all your hearts and minds at ease.
Hallway Disorder is where students and faculty forget that the hallways of MRU are generally used for point-to-point travels not three-part theatre.
The symptoms associated with Hallway Disorder are easy to diagnose. The undead portion of “us” forgets that the right side of a hallway travels one way; and the left travels the opposite way. In some serious cases, those suffering from this illness stop altogether and congregate like herbivores at a watering hole — forever altering the migration patterns of severely under caffeinated students.
If you are unsure of whether you are suffering from this disorder, simply listen and watch those around you. If your fellow students are seen rolling their eyes, running swiftly past your group or even uttering vulgarities about you — you are likely a “infected”.
Not to mention your fellow students who are blind or visually impaired — they depend on people around them staying attentive to their surroundings and being courteous in the halls.
Worry not, the treatment for said disorder is by no means decapitation. The prescription is simply: have some common sense, use your pre-frontal cortex and move to one of the many designated gossip zones spread amongst campus (study zones).
Your friends, colleagues and even that enemy who wore the same shirt as you will thank you, as they will be able to arrive to lecture in time to find the best napping/texting zone.
Once again, I apologize for not warning you sooner. For our sake, I hope it’s not too late.