Sex Column: Let’s watch porn!

In my last column I looked at the negative effect that watching too much pornography can have on your body and mind. For this issue I wanted to delve into the ethical aspect of watching porn.

A few years ago I wrote an essay on whether or not porn is anti-feminist. In researching the essay, I became alarmed at some of the horror stories out there regarding working in the porn industry.

I found it disturbing that I could potentially be watching, and getting off to, a video of someone who is being forced to be there, or is working in unsafe conditions, or is being forced to do more than he or she is comfortable doing. The idea of getting off to someone’s suffering is abhorrent to me, as I would hope it is for anyone.

There have also been a few instances where I’ve been watching something and began to question the age of the actors. If I have any doubt that they are not over 18 I’ll close the window immediately, but how do I know the actors in other videos I deem fine are actually of age? They could just look older.

That’s part of the overall issue of how much porn is available and how readily available it is. You can blast through 10 videos in one session and know nothing of any of the people you just masturbated to. Although that is part of the fantasy, it is also potentially disturbing. You could have essentially masturbated to someone being raped, and you wouldn’t even know it.

I am not trying to say I think porn should be made illegal, or that anyone who performs in porn is being sexually assaulted.

But we have to be careful not to label all porn actors as victims. There are many people in porn who are there because they choose to, and telling them they need to be saved takes away their agency.

I imagine that the sex industry would not be an easy industry to work in, for both men and women, but just because a job seems unappealing to most doesn’t mean people should not be free to pursue it.

So what do you do if you don’t want to support cruelly made porn but also want to keep watching porn?

Do your research. Google the name of the company the videos you’re watching come from and find out if they have a reputation for treating their actors/employees poorly.

You can also Google the nominees for the Feminist Porn Awards for some awesomely progressive companies. I know “feminist” and “porn” doesn’t seem like words that mesh well together, but there are some hot and kinky videos to be found there. Porn can be freaky, kinky and fucked up — but it can do that while still treating the performers with respect.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I love Tumblr porn. Some of my favourite blogs are real life couples who post pictures, videos and gifs of their sex life for the world to see. And you can fap to them guilt-free knowing you’re watching sex between consenting adults.

If you think of couples as having boring vanilla sex, think again. As I said in my long term relationship column, couples have some wicked, fucked up sex. Not sure where to find such blogs? I follow a couple blog called the Snake and the Rabbit (http://thesnakeandtherabbit.tumblr.com) and they have a list of other couple blogs they like.

I think this option is probably the best in terms of certainty that everyone involved is there because they want to be. They’re making a blog because they want to and they enjoy it.

That said, you can never know with 100 per cent certainty that what you’re watching was made in an ethical manner. For instance, Googling Kink.com brought up results both praising their methods and condemning their working conditions.

You must use your own judgment and decide if a company is one you want to give your business to. If you feel uncomfortable no matter how much you’ve looked into the porn you’re watching, maybe porn isn’t for you. Time to use the power of imagination! …Or perhaps erotica?