Sex Column: Who are you and do you have a condom?
The best times you’ll barely remember
One-night stands aren’t known for being meticulously planned. They’re more known for being drunken, hazy ordeals that are potentially loaded with regret.
That said, if you are open to the idea of hooking up with friends waiting to happen (A.K.A. strangers), or you’re single and you drink heavily, there are some things to keep in mind.
I want to preface by saying that going home with a stranger is dangerous by default.
You don’t know this person, and by going off with them alone, to a private place, you are in potential danger.
You also don’t know their sexual history so it can be dangerous in that way as well.
Having a no-strings-attached hook up with someone you’ve been making out with all over the bar has the makings for a great time, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of the risks.
Carry condoms with you wherever you go. At least two. Ladies, this applies to you too (if you’ll be hooking up with a dude).
Don’t just assume the guy will take care of it. However, condoms aren’t guarantees. They do break sometimes.
If there are no plans for penis involvement, invest in some dental dams.
Alternately, a condom and a few quick scissor snips will create a barrier between you and your sexy stranger, protecting you from unwanted gifts.
Asking the person if they’ve had an STI check recently is not a rude request.
It is a bit of a mood breaker, but contracting herpes will break the mood of your whole life.
However, you can’t know if they’re lying unless they can show you the clean test, so use protection.
Even if they carry around a clean STI test for such an occasion, use protection.
But remember protection makes sex safer, not 100 per cent safe. And if they have any cuts or sores on their mouth or genitals you should probably get out of there.
As I mentioned earlier, going with a stranger to your place or theirs can be dangerous.
If possible, take them to an after party where some of your friends will also be, or if you are at a party, find an empty bedroom or wherever and get it done there so that you’re still close to your friends and people in general, just in case.
You also might want to hook up with a friend of a friend instead of a complete stranger, someone who your friend will back up as a cool person, but not someone you’re going to see every day afterward.
A big pro of hooking up is that it is completely new and exciting and filled with possibilities.
It’s the stuff romance novels and porn are made of. And, since you probably won’t see each other again, there is a tendency to just not give a fuck and go buck wild.
But still be respectful of your partner. Ask before you do anything that would be considered against the norm.
Going for doggy style without explicitly asking is probably okay, but surprise anal or pulling out and busting in his/her face without getting permission first? Yeah, don’t do that.
If you are going back to someone’s place you should discuss on the way to your sex location what will happen afterward.
Just a, “do you want to spend the night?” or “I have to wake up early so if you could call a cab seconds after I cum that would be greeeeat.”
If you’d rather not spend the night because you’re more comfortable in your own bed or the sex is ultra terrible, then whatever, but staying the night does not mean you expect to get married the next day, it just means you’re both tired and you don’t want to take a cab at three in the morning, so you spend the night.
If you are at a party/after party you can sleep there, or after you’re finished go your separate ways, or you can just go back to partying, you wild child, you!
It is worth mentioning that you shouldn’t expect much from a one night stand.
Even if whoever you’re hooking up with says how they’re going to call you and blah blah blah, it might amount to nothing.
This might be because they’re just trying to get in your pants, or they might just be drunk and have enthusiasm that doesn’t last into the morning but as a rule you shouldn’t expect a relationship out of a drunken night of semi-anonymous sex.
Yes, there are exceptions but for the most part expect your night of passion to amount to just that: one night.