There’s such a thing as too much Axe
The other day I was standing in line at Tim Hortons, just minding my own business as I tried to work out how I could explain to the cashier the exact right amount of cream cheese to put on my bagel, when my eyes started to water.
As the next Timmies patron took his place in line behind me, I began to have trouble breathing. Suddenly, everything was smelling WAY too fresh.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t limited to just smell. The gentleman in question had bathed in so much man-fume I could actually taste it in my mouth.
Worse yet, when I got home four hours later, I could still smell it on my clothing.
That’s not okay, people.
Look, I fully understand and support your desire not to smell like day-old socks and onion B.O., but there’s a limit. When you’re actually violating others with your miasma of “freshness,” it’s gone way too far.
Think of the people with allergies! Think of the people who are gaining allergies by being exposed to nuclear levels of whatever perfume you chose to slather all over yourself! Think of the children, with their tender little untried nostrils!
Luckily, there’s a simple and effective way to check yourself before you leave in the morning: if you can smell your own perfume, you’ve gone too far. You see, as time progresses, you become desensitized to the smell and it tricks your brain into thinking you need more.
Seriously. If you put on so much perfume that you yourself can smell it, you need to get in the shower, wash it off, and try again. If you don’t like the thought of that, then just go with the tried-and-true one squirt method.
In case it’s not obvious, that means limiting yourself to one single, solitary squirt of perfume (this does not apply to aerosol applicators). One little spray is enough, it really, really is.
In the end, what it comes down to is this: do not wear so much perfume that it actually transfers to other people’s bodies, and we can all be happy, non-smelly, non-allergy-having friends.