Sex Column: Getting sexy in the shower

Photo: ©iStockphoto.com/baytunc

Hello Mount Royal University! My name is Lynn and I’m going to be your friendly neighbourhood sex columnist this year.

If you’re not feeling too pumped about being back in the insanity of school, at least you can be excited about reading The Reflector’s sex column again. You totally can’t find this a million times over on the Internet. Ground breaking journalism right here, folks.

I thought I’d start the year with some tips on a popular, reputably hot act: sex in the shower.

Anything involving body parts pressed up against steamy glass sounds like an all-around good time, but if you aren’t careful it can end in a concussion, a bladder infection, a sore ass and more.

You can start off in the bedroom or go straight for the shower. Foreplay is pretty wide open. With steam and heat it isn’t difficult to set the mood – though you might want to clean up a bit and maybe light a candle. Bathroom light isn’t terribly flattering.

Keep in mind that if you are planning to use a condom (which you should if both of you haven’t been tested and you’re not monogamous) it might be easier to put the condom on before getting wet. Lifestyles’ web site states that using a condom in the shower and underwater is fine as long as it stays on.

If you’re having sex and the condom falls off, that is not a good thing regardless of the presence of water.

At this point you and your partner are ready to go — this is where things get tricky. Unless you have an incredibly spacious bath tub, the easiest position will likely be with the bottom bent over, hands on the tiles or end of the bathtub, and the top taking them from behind.

There a few things to remember if you’re going to take this route:

1. If you’re going to push whoever’s on the bottom down further (so they’re more bent over, possibly getting a better angle for entry), do so gently, as things are slippery. If you catch them by surprise they might slip and bang their head against the tiles. A little rough play can be fun, but a head injury is definitely a mood killer.

2. I reiterate: things are slippery. If this is a heterosexual throw-down with a dick going into a vagina, be careful dudes. If you slip out and then go to re-enter it’s fairly easy to go right up the ass without even realizing. There are a very small number of people who like surprise anal. It’s more likely this will throw the recipient off, and they’ll need a moment to compose themselves. A new condom is also necessary.

3. Don’t get any soap in any lady parts, or in any holes period. I know soaping up that penis/hand/whatever before you ease it in there sounds like a brilliant plan, but it will end in some sort of infection. Am I getting you excited about shower sexy time yet?

4. Be aware of the water temperature. Warm water can cause some men to go soft in a hurry so you might want to go hard and heavy and make it a quickie, or fuck in the shower as long as he can handle and then take your exploits elsewhere.

Some people have trouble finishing standing up so if you have a spacious bathtub you can lie down and continue or exit the shower and take it to the bathroom floor, covered toilet (so hot, right?), or up against the sink. You can also take it back to the bedroom. If a mess is made, hop back in the shower and rinse off. Maybe you can even wash your hair and actually shower while you’re back in there.