Halloween. It’s such an interesting and unique evening. People dress up and escape from themselves for a few hours — some as a scantly clad nurse, others as a scantly clad firewoman. While Halloween is full of fun, my favourite part about the spooky holiday is not the costumes, candy or even the alcohol.

It’s reading the news the next day. The absolute best part of Halloween is reading about all the stupid things that stupid people did while in costume.

Now, I love a good dose of irony, but when I heard about Ohio student James Miller, it was almost too much to handle.

On Halloween night, police stopped Miller because they suspected he was driving under the influence. It’s hard to know what tipped the cops off. Was it the fact that he was driving the wrong way down a one-way street? Or could it have been the nearly empty box of beer on the passenger seat — one of those beers being open next to the driver’s seat.

Miller blew 0.158 and was arrested for driving under the influence, along with underage drinking and a one-way street violation.

All in all, DUIs are not funny, but what made this story so deliciously ironic was the fact that Miller was dressed as a Breathalyzer for Halloween. And wait it gets classier: the costume was equipped with the blow tube around his belt area with an arrow pointing down and saying, “Blow here.”

I hate to say it, but the chances of that happening are probably as non-existent as his driver’s license.

Ohio student James Miller was arrested for driving under the influence while dressed up as a Breathalyzer for Halloween.

For the next case of Hallows Eve stupidity, we go to Ontario where a man wearing a purple Teletubby costume robbed a woman at gunpoint for a measly $40.

This quote from The Gazette in Montreal said it best in the Nov. 1 issue: “Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po are in the clear. But Ontario police are on the hunt for Tinky Winky.”

I can’t even imagine being the journalist that got to write this story. I probably would have sat at my computer for an hour trying to think of the best Teletubby pun possible.

In general, Halloween is an exciting, fun and hilarious night for everyone, but what makes it even better is waking up the morning after, reading the newspaper and knowing that you weren’t the stupidest person in costume last night.

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