Jaunty Jezebel: Do you like pina coladas and getting laid while away?
Reading week is upon us and some of the lucky ones are headed out of the city. Whether you’re off to Banff for a few days or a week in the Bahamas, hooking up can happen – if you’re single and that’s what you’re looking for.
But get rid of the myth that you’re going to hook up with a native of the town or country you’re visiting, says Jaunty Jezebel column consultant, Kevin. (Disclaimer: the title of column consultant is just fancy speak for my experienced friend who doesn’t want his name used.) According to Kevin, it’s more likely that you will find yourself in the arms of another traveller, likely from your own country if not the same province or city. It’s also possible that you will lose the standards and frame of reference you normally hold close in your hometown.
What this means is, you may possibly hook up with someone you would never have at home. This could be great or it also could fall on the other end of the spectrum — the sort of conquest you don’t brag about or even mention.
I can attest to this. On a summer trip to Montreal, my hook up was not a suave, silver-tongued, Frenchman. Nope, I didn’t have sexy French words whispered in my ear — there’s something so hot about “voulez-vous couchez avec moi?” that doesn’t sound so hot when translated to English. “Do you want to sleep with me?” sounds kind of plain.
Anyway, my hook up was not only a Calgarian but also a Mount Royal College student, and acquaintance. This hook up would only happen in Montreal, away from our peers and anyone who knows us.
But of course there are always exceptions to the rule. A respondent to the sex survey included this tale:
“I was just finished a marathon fuck with this Finnish girl. We were both ultra sweaty, so I suggested a shower. A few seconds into the shower she lost consciousness and crumpled on the ground. I was totally panicked for about two minutes because I didn’t even know the emergency number in that country and I had a naked, passed out Finn in my shower.”
Like many of the respondents to the survey, I know this one personally. We’ve discussed an alias for him too: Mr. Good Enough For Two. Anyway, he was on an extended trip around Europe and had gone on a few dates with her before this incident. He also explained what happened next.
JJ: What’s the rest of the story, did she wake up?
Mr. GEFT: She came to eventually. Five minutes or so.
JJ: That’s good
Mr. GEFT: No, I didn’t bury her in a dumpster. Haha.
JJ: Bahahahahaha! Oh my gawd, that wasn’t what I was thinking. I was worried that you had to call emergency and that would have been awkward.
Mr. GEFT: But yeah, she said when she gets overexerted sometimes she loses consciousness.
JJ: Well good job on overexerting her.
Lesson learned. Know the emergency numbers of the country your visiting just in case you overexert your partner.
Though it’s not at all hard for me to do this, I’m going to take some time to talk about myself for a bit here. Since beginning this column in September I’ve received positive feedback from my peers and Reflector readers — I truly appreciate every single one of them. As someone starting out her career as writer I’m thankful for the opportunity I have been given at The Reflector and everyone who supports it.
That said I’d like to address a question that has popped up on occasion when I talk to people about my column.
“What sort of qualifications do you have to write a sex column?”
Innocent enough question, except the implication that to be qualified as a sex columnist it must mean I’m, as one female so eloquently put it, “the town whore.”
I hope you had a laugh there. I’m certainly not offended but I’m slightly disappointed. Yes, my “experiences” shape what I write but it doesn’t define this column. Plus, those labels are unnecessary. I like sex and I think it’s important that it’s discussed in an open non-judgmental manner. And I hope to be fun, entertaining and informative! So … let’s continue to talk about sex.