The results are in…Sex survey draws highest number of responses ever
1. Male or female?
My answer: Take a guess.
2. How old are you?
Average age- 24.4 years old
My answer: I was actually 23 at the time, now I’m 24.
3. Are you single, in a relationship or married?
My answer: Single! No, I don’t want you to put a ring on it. At least not yet.
4. Would you define your sexual orientation as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or something else entirely?
Something else- 3.5%
My answer: Bisexual – I think I may do a column on bisexuals. More later!
5. Have you had sex before?
My answer: Duh. I also would like to apologize for making the rest of the survey completely moot for virgins. I asked why haven’t you had sex before to see what kind of answers I would get. However, they all said the same thing. Haven’t had the chance.
6. If yes, how old were you when you first had sex?
Average age- 17.1 years old
My answer: 18. The youngest age that was entered was 7. But I don’t believe that. So 11 years old. I hope it was consensual and with another young person.
7. How many people have you slept with?
Average number- 11.6 people
My answer: Oooh! The dreaded question! Funny thing is, 11 sex partners in a lifetime is the national average. Americans have more sex at an average of 14 partners in a lifetime. Suffice to say I beat that at 40 people.
8. Do you use a condom?
My answer: I had the follow up question: if no, why not? The answers definitely gave me another column idea. And I have a confession to make. In one of my first columns I stated that I would not have sex without a condom. Well I did. Twice. We’ll talk about this later.
9. Do you have sex more often intoxicated or sober?
My answer: Sober sex is nice. But in all honesty, I’m usually trashed.
10. Do you use toys during sex?
My answer: Not yet. Well, I chose no, but I can’t say why I haven’t used toys. Maybe because I’m having a lot of fun as is. Usually, anyway.
11. Have you ever given a guy a blowjob?
My answer: Yes.
12. Do you like giving head?
My answer: It’s okay. I’m definitely the type of girl that has to be in the mood for it.
Spit or swallow?
My answer: Swallow. I like the few that answered the reason they swallow is because who wants to hold it in your mouth while you find a place to spit? Plus sometimes, there’s too much to hold in your mouth.
13. Have you ever gone down on a girl?
My answer: Yes.
14. Do you like it?
My answer: No. Maybe I have to do what one respondent answered. Get more into it, try it more often.
15. Have you ever faked having an orgasm?
My answer: Haven’t had one! I’m not a good liar anyway.
16. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
My answer: Yes.
17. If so, how many?
Average number- 2.4 people
My answer: 2
18. Do other people possess naked photographs of you?
My answer: Technically people could steal the photos I’ve posted here and possess naked photos. So… yes.
19. Is there video of you engaged in a sexual act?
My answer: I really hope not.
20. Does penis size matter to you?
My answer: I love that this is 50/50! Yes it does matter. Yes it is how you use it, but if you don’t have much to begin with, there isn’t much you can do.
21. Have you had sex at work/school?
My answer: Yes. At work. At a bar.
22. Have you slept with one of your teachers?
My answer: No. And I have no desire to. There were a couple of priests though back in the day (Hey! He was like 20 and from Poland. Church was distracting. I stopped going.)
23. Have you ever dressed up to make sex more interesting?
My answer: No.
24. If yes, what did you dress up as?
Top three best answers:
25. Have you ever had sex in a bed that does not belong to you or your partner (not including a hotel bed)?
My answer: Yes.
26. Have you ever had to sneak out of a window to avoid your partner’s parents, roommates or significant other?
My answer: No. But someone did climb out of my basement window!
27. Have you ever slept with someone who is relatively well known in the media?
My answer: Yes.
28. If so, who? Were they any good?
Best answer: “Dion Phaneuf…drunk night at Cowboys… and he was decent, but I wouldn’t put him in the top 10.”
My answer: Kazzer (it’s okay if you don’t remember him. He was basically a Canadian one-hit wonder.) And he was good.
My favorite answer: Yeah, you (he was referring to me). You were pretty good. Hahahaha!
29. Do you have fuck buddies?
My answer: Yes.
30. If so, how many?
Average number- 1.8 people
My answer: 1 (I need more!)
31. Do you masturbate?
My answer: No.
32. What are you looking at/thinking about when you do so?
Best answer: “It’s scheduled into my week. A very structured and orderly activity.”
33. Have you ever been caught masturbating?
My answer: No.
34. Have you ever taken it in the bum?
My answer: Yes.
35. Did you like it?
My answer: No!
36. What was the freakiest thing you tried to copy from watching porn?
Best answer: “The grand finale of Asian Vomit Sluts XII. We didn’t have enough buckets.”
My answer: I honestly can’t remember what I put in the survey. When I can remember, I’ll update.
37. What’s your favourite position?
Top three most popular:
1. From behind
3. Girl on top.
My answer: I like the way one respondent put it (but from the girl’s perspective: Girl on tummy, me behind her (not doggy style).
38. What’s your craziest sex story ever?
Vancouver’s huge fireworks display in the summer, 300,000 people on the beach. We couldn’t find a spot to stand where we could see them so we climbed a tree and my orgasm came at the crescendo of the fireworks and the music. Pretty amazing with the entire city on the beach in front of us cheering, clapping, yelling.
More Crazy Stories
1. There was an evening when I was having a threesome with two 20 year olds. We started with sucking each other off, then one of them was sucking my cock and the other was eating his ass and fingering it. At that point I shot my load in his mouth and made him swallow. I moved down to join the ass eating and me and the other guys started fingering him with as many fingers that would fit. By that point the two of us were hard and lubed up and started to double fuck his ass, he wasn’t quite ready for that, we stopped then I started fucking one guy while the other guy fucked me, after when we were about to cum one guy laid on his back while we both came on him. Then the guys we came on wiped all the cum up and sucked it in his mouth then we all were kisses and swapping the cum until it was done. Then we got dressed and I made them wait for their cab outside.
2. I went down to Mexico with a buddy for two weeks where we of course met girls. It was my turn to play wingman and so of course I half heartedly entertained the good looking girl’s fat friend one night, her name is Marcella. On a separate night with a different group of girls my buddy and i were having a good time and I was showing the girls from New York what Prairie Fires were, there were five girls. Before long I was absolutely gooned and requested the room key from my friend. Little to my knowledge, the fat girl and her good-looking friend had arrived and my dear friend asked Marcella if she could see me to my room… I had no idea. Next thing I know I’m waking up to the motion of the tubby ocean. I proceed to vomit in the sink. I figured, hey if I’ve already gained my heavyweight belt I might as well earn my title. She then rides me in a fashion as you would expect a cow to be thinking it were a dog and have gotten a hold of a cowboy. Well the fun begins now, after she cums and whispers, “you’re the first white boy to make me cum”. I still shudder thinking about it. The entire time she tries to make out with me which I thoroughly deny. At this point she goes down on me. I may have mentioned that this girl is large but 250+ is more like it. in going down on my drunk ass, literally, she puts my thighs on her shoulders and licks all the way from tailbone to shaft, I swear I giggled like a school girl hahaha. So she tells me she wants me to cum right and I’m losing wood fast. So I start railing her from behind and it slips back and forth between her ass and vagina and at no point and I’m really sure that I’m hitting either. I soon realize that trying to blow my load is like blowing on an oil fire, it’s just not going to work. So I ask her to empty a corona bottle, which she chugs and I proceed to stuff in her and attempt to masturbate, in getting bored I attempt to flip the bottle around, seconds later I hear a knocking at the door and I’ve never jumped so fast in my life, I find my buddy standing there with the hot girl and from behind me I hear who is it. He bursts out laughing, turns to the hot girl and demands his ten bucks, after getting the chunker to leave my friend and I discover a 1′ diameter blood stain on the sheets of the bed…I picked up the sheets and left 40 bucks and very sorry note when we left the next morning.
3. Once I had tea with a friend of mine when her husbands cum still inside my pussy it made me feel so powerful
Tie for 4th
4a. So it was my first serious girlfriend, I was 16 she was 17, we were each other’s firsts, and so we just started fucking all the time. This one time we were in her living room (she lived w/ her catholic parents). And her parents were in the kitchen (no real doors in between). So I was spooning her on the couch and we had a blanket covering us from the torso-down. So we started having sex on the couch like that, keeping our shirts on and watching TV… After a few minutes her mom walked into the living room with a tray of fruit or some Filipino food or something! We both kind of just stopped our humping and looked at her like we were sooo busted, but her mom sat down on the other couch, and started talking to us. I was still inside of my g/f and we stayed like that for about 20 minutes before her mom finally got up and left. Might not seem like a super crazy story now, but as a 16 year old in my girlfriend’s parents house, it was fucking scary as shit.
4b. Once my boyfriend and I were lying under some blankets on the floor of his parents living room after everyone had gone to bed and we were having sex spoon-style, when his 18 year old brother walked in, had a conversation with my boyfriend and then left, completely oblivious to the fact that he had caught us in the act.
5. THE TOP OF COP TOWER…. YEA. I WENT THERE. being bent over the railing, looking at the city lights on one side, and a sun setting behind mountains on the other, being fucked from a 90M tower and the feeling the wind through your hair… Now THAT is liberating. 🙂
6. I’ve had sex whilst having a conversation with someone in the next room. I got a nice through the pants handjob walking down the street in Sienna, Italy in the middle of the afternoon.
7. While I was overseas I had a two month affair with my bosses wife. He is still unawares though she tries to keep in contact. He worked the morning shift and I worked the evening so every morning I would simply take a jog over to his place while he was gone and fuck her. I was 18 at the time, kinda of out of the loop as far as girls went she seduced me to begin with, the following two months were certainly very worthwhile and she taught me many many things.
8. I was just finished a marathon fuck with this Finnish girl. We were both ultra sweaty, so I suggested a shower. A few seconds into the shower she lost consciousness and crumpled on the ground. I was totally panicked for about two minutes because I didn’t even know the emergency number in that country and I had a naked, passed out Finn in my shower.
9. This one time at Devonian gardens we (me and my girlfriend of the time) got really horny and found the most secluded spot we could and started having sex doggy style. She came and was a screamer. Security showed up and we were banned for a year. So worth it. The beauty is if she didn’t cum we would have never been banned.
10. We had sex in a bathroom stall in the staff room of our workplace and like halfway through a bunch of people walked in and they spent so long in there that we just finished up and both just walked out of the bathroom in front of them all.